How to Stop Self-Sabotaging

How we do something small shows us how we'll do it when it gets bigger.

Often times we say "oh, I'll change how I'm showing up/acting when X happens".

But we likely WON'T. In fact, we'll likely just behave even more like we always have, just on a bigger scale. Let me give you an example: If I don't believe I’m good at managing money, and I don't manage my money well currently, the solution isn't just to make MORE money- Because when I DO make more money, I'll just poorly manage that money too. Then I'll feel even worse about myself and my inability to change, and I won't know how to fix it, so I'll burn myself out trying to make even MORE money.... And the cycle will simply continue. If our habits are baby monsters now- as we grow, the monsters will as well. We have to break the cycle and kill the monster by changing how we show up NOW, so in the future we can both get what we want AND keep it without the monster destroying it. And that requires some uncomfortable looks into how we're showing up today in ways that do NOT serve us. How we're self sabotaging. How we're spinning in circles. How we're making excuses and avoiding taking responsibility. How we're judging and shaming and blaming ourselves. And then, once we're crystal clear on all our symptoms-- we have to dig in deeper and find the WHY behind those symptoms. We have to figure out the false beliefs and dysfunctional thought patterns that are causing us to behave in the unhelpful ways that we do. This work is not easy, and it's hard to do, especially without support or encouragement. But if you really do this work, the results on the other side are truly incredible. Because once you know why, you can start to recognize the unhelpful thoughts BEFORE they lead you into a bad habit or pattern of self-sabotage. You can replace your thoughts with ones that serve you, and choose your action from that more grounded, balanced mindset. You can break the cycle. So how do you find the why behind your behaviors? Try asking yourself these questions- - how do I usually self-sabotage? What experiences "trigger" me and lead to irrational behavior? - what do I really believe about money/love/success/work/life/whatever thing I'm trying to change my behavior around? What did I learn as a child about that thing? What rules have I created around that thing?  - if I could choose to believe something different, what would I believe? - how would someone who held this new belief show up in life when things are tough or don't go well/according to plan? You can and deserve to replace your old patterns now, so when you get more of what you want, you can ENJOY it. Don't wait till your habit monster gets bigger to kill it.

If you feel you need help discovering your patterns of self-sabotage and working through them, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me. You can schedule a free 30 minute discovery call with me to get started.